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Many thousands of New Zealanders are affected by family violence everyday, with Police called to an incident every six minutes.
The It’s not OK Campaign aims to make family violence unacceptable in communities across New Zealand. Waka Ama is one of a range of sporting organisations helping to spread the message that family violence is not OK but it is OK to ask for help.
We as a Waka Ama whanau can be role models and help generate a feeling there is something everyone can do to help. This fits our kaupapa and values of manaakitanga, whanaungatanga, hauora, and tu tangata.
It is OK to Help
Research shows that people experiencing family violence turn to family and friends first – so it’s important for us all to know how to respond.
The current focus of the It’s not OK Campaign is on what friends and whanau can do to help people living in violent situations, whether they are the violent person or the victim.
Adults affected by family violence feel a lot of shame whether they are being violent or being hurt. They need to make changes in their own time when they are ready.
If children are being hurt they need safe adults to step in and take charge of their safety - they need to be able to tell adults they can trust what is happening to them.
It’s hard to know what to do when you know – or suspect – that a friend or family member is living with violence but the sooner you reach out, the sooner they can get help.
Sometimes just one action or comment can make the difference but it’s important how you offer help. Give support not advice, listen, challenge the behaviour not the person and think about safety.
Don’t intervene in a violent situation or when people are angry or drunk. Choose a quiet time.
These are some things you can say or do:
Ask:
• Are you OK?
• Is someone hurting you?
• Are you scared to go home?
• Is there anything I can do?
• Do you feel safe at home?
Say:
• It's not OK your kids are scared of you
• It's not your fault someone is hurting you
• When you're ready I'm here
• It's not OK that you are being hurt
Do:
• Keep in touch
• Call to say Hi
• Offer to babysit
• Listen
• Be there
• Keep the door open
• Offer a safe place to go
To find out more information visit the It’s not OK website www.areyouok.org.nz or call the It’s not OK information line on 0800 456 450.
If someone is in danger, or you think someone could be harmed, call Police on 111.